The Parents' Review

A Monthly Magazine of Home-Training and Culture

A Lesson.

"In the multitude of councillors there is wisdom" is very true if we are careful to get out of the stage in which they bring something very like confusion. There is danger in pondering over theories till it gets quite difficult to act! But all at once may come a moment when one must act on the instant or the golden moment is lost, and one finds all the pondering has made one's mind so rich that the power of action springs up firm and stalwart and produces splendid fruit. We have read much and thought much about bringing the child's own will to bear on conquering the child's faults, and the other day, when I was sitting with my little daughter who is nearly three years old, I came, all at once, to such an occasion for using my "thoughts." It seems to me such a delightful little illustration that I must tell it. I try to give the conversation accurately, for I made notes as soon as I could after it had taken place.

The little one was having one of her first lessons. in drawing with the brush. She was naturally very much interested and excited, and the little feet went kick, kick against her foot-rest, making a very, to her, pleasant noise. But, said I, "little one, you must keep your feet still and firm if you want to paint."

"Oh! but I like to make that noise."

"Oh! mother is sorry, but she said you must keep your feet still."

"But my toeties are dancing, they like to dance."

"If you want to dance your 'toeties' you must do it at the proper time and in the proper place, and if you go on with that noise you must go upstairs. I must put the handbell here to ring it for nurse if you go on making that noise."

The little face grew set and firm and the toes kept on "dancing." Her will was up in arms against mine.

"If I don't take care," I thought, "we shall have a row, and obedience will be enforced at the cost of this half-hour of valuable time with mother."

Then came the helpful "thought," "get her will on your side."

"Listen," I said, "tell your toeties that they are making you disobedient, that you want to paint, and not to go to the nursery; tell them you are busy and have not time to let them dance."

To my delight the smiles beamed out. Instantly the habit of obedience reasserted itself. She too had something to conquer. The little feet were caught in her hands, and she bent down to them.

"Keep still Minnie's toeties, Minnie's busy, got no time for you to dance, you shall dance presently."

The battle was won! Soon she said, " you won't want the bell, my toeties are good."

To mark the event the "toeties" were allowed a piece of newspaper to "stand on," and when several times that morning and on following mornings they began to kick with excitement again, they were admonished with raised hand, "Be still Minnie's toeties, me very busy. Mother says you not to dance," and all is peace. The piece of paper for them to "stand on" is given to them every day "by request," and I never have to interfere.

This little maid has been brought up from the first on " obedience lessons." There have been a few critical occasions when, in spite of them, prompt punishment had to follow disobedience, but those outbreaks I think, were the fruits of some spoiling by an injudicious nurse. Honestly I may say that though she is one of the friskiest little chatterboxes going, the difficulty about "obedience" does not exist. Of course her memory does not serve always: she has to be reminded very often that such and such things are, so to speak, "out of bounds" for her,--of course I am careful not to wait for an occasion, but to take frequent occasion to say "little girls must not touch father's books, only their own books," or "little girls must not touch flowers in the jars: mother gives her some when she can," and so on, and I never have any trouble at all, nor, now the injudicious nurse is gone, does anyone else in the house. We need waste no vital energy here. All has gone so easily all along, that though she has strong will, and is very vigorous and lively, I am more and more convinced that if obedience is taught from the first dawnings of understanding,--the child having no bad habits to overcome,--it may be effectively taught with remarkably little difficulty.

Typed by JoanP., Sep. 2024